ChexMax

Wouldn’t that mean no one can visit your home, though? Or if they did, that they’d have to leave their cells/ tablets outside?

In my town the cheapest drinks are at the casino. They want you drunk, and they want your money in the slots

That’s all very lovely but I think you’re missing the point of what I’m trying to say.

I’m not saying anyone is dropping loads of money to impress anyone, I’m saying going out in most any context costs loads of money without even being “impressive”.

Obviously a hike and a picnic is a great date! But it’s reckless and irresponsible as a first date. You could end up murdered. For a first date you’re likely meeting in a public place. Heck, even in your own example your first date was in a bar, which now a days is a dozens of dollars experience for just a few drinks, much more if you’re buying for two or it’s a nice bar, or if there’s any food involved.

I’m saying even for frugal people (hell, my husband and I first got to talking in a thrift store through a mutual friend!) dating is expensive, and it’s not about preferences, it’s just that eating out at all or even just drinks or coffee not at home is very pricey.

Well hard to undermine trust in a system everyone Already knows is rigged. Though I know this isn’t what was meant :(

That’s just 1.5 museums per town. Tiny towns have tiny museums. Like a small town i went to once had a “lock and key” museum and it was just the history of locks and keys. Very niche, pretty small. I think they weirdly also had like history of telephones and maybe record players in there? Like a decade ago, so i can’t remember.

But also, most actual cities have multiple museums, or even over a dozen, so a lot of small towns don’t need any to make it to 30k.

I hear you, but also, those places can be extremely fun. Went to a roadside “museum” a few years ago, lots of wax figures, and a huge perfectly scaled miniature of the white house that was actually on display in the white house at some point. I brought family back several times. It was so kitschy and fun! 10/10 would go again. Florida is full of these, not just amusement parks. (Ripleys believe it or not “museum” in Orlando is a total ripoff, not worth the entry fee)

Also locally though there are at least a dozen real museums within an hour of me, don’t want to dox myself but literally world class museums of artists you have 100% heard of and then others you’ve 25% heard of. Really wonderful. Many more if you include the surrounding couple hours.

If you qualify but feel too guilty, take it and just don’t use it. That way, in an emergency you have it, but you’re not taking anything “away from anybody.”

But also, take it and use it! This country should be providing health care to everyone. Private insurance is a freakin scam

Hey, so I have ADHD, and so does my husband, neither of us are medicated. We both cope well outside the house, but inside, our home is a freakin mess. I have so many systems but still, cleaning, maintaining, and cooking are just too much for us to stay on top of. I’m a lot better with systems, and prioritization, so managing the house falls to me but we both give each other a lot of grace. My number one tip is taking responsibility. It is painful for me when he says he’s going to take care of something and then he doesn’t. I would so much rather him recognize : " hey, I know i said i would take the trash out, but I’m realizing it’s a task I’m failing at week after week. Could we trade? I will scour the bathroom if you can take the cans to the curb?" Or “could you help me come up with a system?”

What almost killed our marriage was him saying, “why are you freaking out about this, it’s just the trash?” And then the next week saying, “I’ll get to it in the morning, I promise, I’m just too tired to do it tonight.” It killed my ability to trust him or his word, and really eroded our marriage. It’s like he was in denial about his ADHD, and didn’t realize that by having this optimistic and unrealistic views of his abilities, he was letting me down twice - once with neglecting to help, and second by denying my experience, and lying about what he was going to do. He felt like he still deserved the benefit of the doubt and kindness and grace, but after the 5th time not completing a task, I felt like that behavior and expectation was him forcing our relationship into parent/ child rather than equal partnership.

I’m not suggesting having a child if you’re not ready!!! But I will say fatherhood is where my ADHD mate shines. He still doesn’t clean, his hair is on the sink after shaving everytime, but he’s an amazing father. The house is a mess, but the toddler is well fed (he makes creative dinners), well exercised (he has way more energy than me) and he has amazing creative problem solving to encourage her to go along with his directions. I believe this is where his ADHD super powers come through. Also now that we’re on a more strict schedule for the toddler, he weirdly doesn’t miss taking the trash out.

Again, not suggesting adding a child, I’m just saying maybe you’re not going to get better at the things you’re having trouble with, but maybe you’ll find other stuff that you are good at that makes your partner’s life easier making it feel more like a partnership. Also, we’ve done a lot of couples therapy. We went from the brink of divorce, me feeling like he wasn’t pulling his weight at all, and him feeling like I’m way too critical and mean to feeling like a solid team expecting a second kid (on purpose).

Good luck, man. ADHD fuckin sucks.

Except he was always vaguely hinting that by end the war he meant give Isreal everything they wanted therefore “ending” the war. Same with Russia and Ukraine.

Plus $40 for parking! That’s not included!

I can’t imagine how this is true. Must be no drink, no apps, no dessert, and mindful choices on entrees. Because just an entree at a regular ( not fancy) place in my town is 24-32 bucks and that’s not for the nicest dish. A drink is 8 to 25 bucks depending on whether it’s a cocktail. Yeah, your spouse is fine with a quick meal with no add ons, but for a date, where the point is to kill time together, relax and get to know each other, lingering over a dessert and having a drink or two to loosen up is kind of the point.

Obviously you can agree that your first date should be going out to get coffee to see if you click, but that’s still going to be 50 bucks after two to four drinks and a couple of scones.

One important list I have is Things lent Lent to me, lent from me. Money is something I need to write down or I will NEVER remember. I mean I will forget I lent a thousand dollars. I have forgotten. But then I found my list! Unfortunately I just found an envelope labeled $1,210. But now it has $1010 in it. I know I lent out the thousand to my mom for a quick thing and she paid me back, but then what happened to the 200? Did I accidentally give it to her with the 1k? Did I take it out for something else?

If I don’t write it down, I genuinely will not remember.